Umm I'm too high to move.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
