well most of my day revolves around power hour
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
