ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
