Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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