Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
