what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
