alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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