i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
