return my video game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
