bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
