dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someone shattered a urinal.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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