I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
