He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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