i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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