I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
