OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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