I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
