I heard we made out
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
