He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
