Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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