i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
