Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
