I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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