Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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