I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
