sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Having a random hookup so left but love u
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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