Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
