Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
