Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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