That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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