This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
