I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
