From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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