"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
