i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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