I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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