woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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