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Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
too bad you live with your parents still
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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