Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
there is puke in my bra ... again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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