i don't like sucking hair
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
