Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
