I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
