the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
