Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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