spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
