Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
