Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
