Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
