I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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