Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
